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07 February 2009 @ 10:26 am
Review: Twilight Saga (book)  
This is my review on the Twilight Saga. I'm going to place this under a cut, mostly because I know it's going to be long. Warning. Explicit Language. Spoilers. OH LIKE I CARE.



Warning. Explicit Language.


OK, on the Book:

Let's start with the book that caused all this bullshit. OK, yes. Bullshit. I know, I was quite the fan-girl before, I remember when I was still ibunnyx, when I used to co-relate my posts with Twilight. Now, I feel all of that was a waste of time, effort, and money. Guess what?

TWILIGHT, IS A SHALLOW BOOK. Yes, it is shallow. The vampire-human romance is nothing new, and vampires hating werewolves, or... the "shape-shifters" that they've become, is nothing new as well. And guess what? Forbidden love is nothing new too.

Why, is the direct question most of the Twilight fans might ask me.

Well, Twilight, is a disgrace to all classic vampires. Count Dracula, for example, can't go out in daylight because he'll burn. Edward, SPARKLES. I roll my eyes at this point.

Second, Twilight is a MARY-SUE. YES A MARY SUE DAMNIT. MARY SUE. The characters all too perfect--hence the story being lame and boring. Edward, the sexy macho vampire who sparkles in daylight who's rich life fucking hell and all too perfect? I don't like it. It's OK for a boy to be perfect--on the surface. Take Uchiha Sasuke from Naruto for example. You'd think he was perfect, but he's not. Edward is a god-damned Mary-sue. What can he NOT do?

Third, Do you remember how Bella kept ranting on how she hated Forks? Well, I do. She hated it so much into Edward came. Hell, she was simply fascinated in him and then she fell in love with him. Up to the extent of being obsessed enough to do research on him. >.>" Then, all she can do is rant about how 'dazzling he is'.

Fourth, their relationship is quite superficial. Bella likes him because he's HOT, and Edward likes her because she SMELLS good, no less.

Fifth, I can see no reason why many people are obsessed with this book--when people on Fanfiction.net can write BETTER than Meyer. She has this serious lack of words plus the fact that she always seems to use 'dazzling'. Seriously. Think of other adjectives. Oh, and notice how she makes the most basic of grammatical errors? Like... "handsomer". >.>"

Sixth, let's bash Breaking Dawn for now. I wanted a fight. I really wanted vampires to get killed and such. I wanted someone to die. But no, the Volturi had to chicken out because of Bella's new found magical power damnit--which totally killed the ending. Bella didn't lose anyone, not that Irina was important. I mean, there was no sadness at all. Their romance was way too perfect, and I can't FATHOM why people love such perfect stuff--when nothing in this world is perfect! Live with it!

Seventh, what kind of name is "Renesmee Carlie"? It is just so wrong. If you really loved all your family Bella, you should have named your kid... "Renesmetalie Carjasper". (READ: Renee(Ren), Esme-Emmett(esmet), Rosalie-Charlie(alie), Carlisle (car), jasper(jasper).)

Eighth, Edward is an insane idiot who cannot decide. Remember, in Twilight, he said that he was dangerous to Bella's existence. But guess what? All in 7 chapters, they end up together. Well what the? URGH. Then in New Moon, he still claims he endangers her. But guess what? He still went back with her, right? Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Both these books just prove Edward's lack of personality. I mean, if you really loved someone and were afraid of endangering them, well, you'd probably stay away for the rest of your life! But guess what? He PROPOSED to her in Eclipse, and they got MARRIED in Breaking Dawn!

With the points presented above, I hope it is clear to you that Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn is just a waste of time. Let's hope that Midnight Sun will make up for them, shall we? Oh. Maybe not. Meyer is just another lame-ass author. She cannot write anything good, honestly. I cannot fathom why she's being compared to those totally awesome authors like Jo Rowling, Anne Rice, or C.S. Lewis, or even J.R.R. Tolkien! She doesn't deserve that!

In short, I think that Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, are just silly, kiddy fanfictions gone totally wrong. The plot is lame, the characters are mary-sues, and the author doesn't know how to write anything worth crap. The concept was really appealing, but hell, she ruined it. The vampire lovers of the world are DISGRACED by Meyer. This book, is super overrated, and my God, I bet some people just read the damn book and fangirl over it because others are fangirling or fanboying over it too. Which ever applies. >.> Oh, and these insane fans might never know a good book even though it'd smack them across the face.

Did I mention Muse rocks? Can she NOT mention them as her inspiration? Muse rocks so much and the wold might think it doesn't thanks to her. >.>"

Oh, and if you're a Twilight Fangirl, please don't DARE tell me that "You should go read the book!!!!!!!!!1!!! it's too awesome!!1! how can you not like it?!?!?!?!?!?!!?" or something like that--because I've once been a FAN of the god-forsaken book. And, if I haven't read the book, do you think that I'd be ranting about it? Urgh. Care to use your brain, please? :D unless of course the only thing in your brain is your beloved Edward Cullen, I don't think you'd understand that.

and for those who don't know what her fangirls are like, I want you to read articles from this site. I mean, seriously. Threatening with knives just because a certain person isn't a fan? Seriously. LOW. Now you see what kind of people are the fans of S. Meyer? Psychotic assholes who don't have lives, which is why they cling on to their precious perfect Edward Cullen to pretend they do. I hate it--this book totally killed the modern world's concept of literacy. It is a shame it was even written. Note to all those who will buy the series out there. Save your $80+ on something worth while. This saga, is definitely not one of them.


 
 
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✭「in † monochrome  」: as i scratch my nails... <cornelia>lolicount on March 3rd, 2009 08:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much for reading. :D